By even describing what I’m doing here as epic is a lovely display of lack of humility. Me with the 8 followers (max?) who read this (see scan:)) does not equal anything epic. I suppose I can include that in my hyperbole rant.
I’ve recently found myself in a conflict of feelings as to why this blog exists. I’m questioning myself and my motives as well as the act of writing this itself.
The question I’m asking myself is whether this blog is just one big humblebrag veiled in helpful, ultra-runnery informativeness. IS it?
As I’ve matured in years I’ve grown to realize how important humility is to me in my life.
Humility is the the only place for me that gratitude can take firm root and flourish. While gratitude may be fleeting like blossoms on a tree – it comes back as do they- to a healthy host with strong roots and branch. When I’m in that “attitude of gratitude” I can’t be anywhere but in the moment – present. When I am present I enjoy my life – which is really JUST that moment – to its fullest. I’m better in every way to everyone and that’s why it’s so important to me.
Humility based gratitude, the real stuff in my books, is a big reason why I run. There was a time when I thought the mere presence of my gazelle like self running trails or the city streets could inspire awe in those looking on. Viewing one 5 second video of myself running smote that fantasy like a bolt from the heavens. I suppose that was the universe’s way of guiding me to the essence of what’s good.
When I run outside I feel like a small piece of the world deeply connected and flowing through it’s space. I’m invited, allowed and encouraged to play in our world and it’s wonder and it’s amazing. I can’t feel the way I’ve just described truly if I’m mired in self centred promotion of my unequalled awesomeness. Nor can I when I’m slipping a little humble-brag into a tweet, blog or IG post.
I’m not sure I Can answer my question here but I can say this – I DONT want this to be a humble-brag and I DONT want to be a humble-bragger and the only way I can be humble is to ACT with humility. No mileage “just” updates, no detailed tweets of my workout making sure to include killer stats- just honest to goodness passing of info, humour, race reports and hopefully something good.
That’s where I’m at today – with this.